Glad to hear the bleeding has stopped and how interesting that this flares up when your father is in town…was your father responsible in some way for the repression of your feminine/creative nature?
You say: my physical/hormonal health has gone down hill
The way I see it, your physical body is clearly expressing what ‘your emotions feel they can’t’.
You say: I’ve had tremendous internal changes however my external life hasn’t changed as I want
As far as the physical changes go…both our physical bodies and the creation of our physical worlds…realize that these are just more “frozen” vibrational layers of our mental and emotional state of BEing and so all of our wizardry comes in the form of inner-alchemy….in wielding, not efforting, the outer reflection of true divine nature.
The key to that inner alchemy is, ironically, in not wanting things to be different!
In 5D, it’s less about effectuating change in our external life, more about accepting life exactly as it is. It’s the wanting of something different that stops us from having it. This is because our wanting creates resistance to what-is and “what-is” was created for good reason and wants/needs to be acknowledged as valid.
Allowing what is to BE…THAT’s your proverbial sweet spot. That is where “shift happens”.
When you have surrendered fully to your present circumstances, accepted everything…and I mean EVERYthing…exactly as it is without wanting to change a thing, you are neutralized. Once you are neutralized you are aligned with the entire (neutral) universe within you. This is considered zero-point, the access door to Source, where ALL potentials are accessible.
Once you get the correct combination to the lock and the doorway opens within, you realize it’s less about changing your old life and more about CHOOSING your new one. It’s about morphing from one hologram to another…aligning yourself with a higher version of reality (hologram) and stepping into it, leaving the other one to wither and dematerialize.
When you are fully able to consciously step out of your old hologram knowing that you created it so you could transcend it…VOILA!…you are home FREE. The rest is a matter of keeping your focus fixated on the higher reality so you are no longer feeding your old one.
When you choose your new reality repetitively and with full consciousness, you materialize your new hologram by which the physical matter of your world will restructure itself to align with your intentions.
This is the level of creation where effort morphs into magic!