Hi Astara, I had two distinct thoughts that popped up…the first and loudest thought I had was that you are in the middle of an important shift/transition and to remain present to the discomfort until it disperses…which will be shortly, if not already.

The second thought was about the Mars in Libra station this week, preparing to again move forward on a “new relationship track”.

As I see it, from a 3d dimensional perspective Mars in libra is all about our relationships in the physical world where we honor “other”….yet from a 5th dimensional perspective I see this dynamic more about wholing the relationship with self because from this level of consciousness we realize that there is nothing in our outer world that is NOT an extension/reflection or our own inner state of being.

Mars has been in libra since December and really pushing us to fully and completely relate to ourselves in the same way that we want to be related to from “others”.  When Mars went retrograde on March 1st we began revisiting all those dynamics with a fine tooth comb…taking a good look at what our relationships are reflecting to us about ourselves so we can make any last minute adjustments…mend any cracks in our self LOVE, boundaries, intentions…the places where we are honoring less than our true desires, etc. This has also required us to “pass the tests” that we set up for ourselves to ensure that our LOVE for Self is strong as steel.

Now that Mars is stationing to go direct we have been literally sitting still (this lasts about a week) in all of these reflections in our hologram so that we can get a good look at what we will and won’t take with us to the new world when mars goes direct in a few days.  It’s a bit of a frozen snapshot glimpse of what we have been participating with…in some cases our entire lives…so we can make new/clear choices about what we are willing to let go of in order to honor the highest and best for ourselves for our new life creation.

This is not easy stuff…it is the stuff that masters of made of because it requires us to stand strong enuf in our power to be unseen in our LOVE, projected onto, and ultimately judged…while still honoring our Self first.  This also requires that we allow ourselves to rise even (and especially) when others try to keep us “down”or hooked into their pain. In this way, it sounds like you and your sister may have created a beautiful contract in service to higher LOVE, one that provides you with a perfect antagonist role and reinforcement energy to continually put yourself first.

This is Challenging with a capital C but the extent to which you are able to do this (put Self first) right now especially, will determine a lot for the next phase of your life…mostly, how much command you have over our own heart.
The PHC is stepping in to say this:

…the most loving thing you can ever do for yourself is release your deep and ultimate fear of judgement.  We say this because judgement is simply an external reflection of your own inner turmoil, your own belief that you are required to “do” something, anything or more in order to be LOVED.  This is far from the truth…you are LOVEd by Prime Creator regardless of your perceived wrongdoings, so you must LOVE yourself as Creator LOVES…for surely you are not separate from that LOVE…

Ultimately, you yourSelf have created all these relationship dynamics so you can anchor more fully and completely into your own heart than ever before. The more you live by your own heart and honor your Self before ALL else, the more your outer world will begin to reflect that choice to you via harmonious relationships with others.

The next couple months, while Mars retraces his shadow, you will begin to palpably see how your inner work has paid off. If something arises from another to provoke you, simply find the space within yourself that needs reinforcement in LOVE.
Then, watch your relationships shift…as if by magic…to accommodate your new holographic reality program based in the knowing that the greatest LOVE you can ever give another is the LOVE of Self.

I hope something I’ve said here eases your strain…