Angel- I feel you, I hear you, I know your pain.
But it feels to me that you are in the middle of…or maybe already on the other side of…a major shift and all this frustration, as sucky as it is , is actually a major release of some bottom of the barrel stuff. ie, you feel very close to a breakthru.
And yes, some of what we have had bubbling in our cauldrons has been slow cooking for a decade or two…but mostly that was because WE were slow cooking in our cauldrons and our purposes can only be an extension of US. (I actually talk about that some in upcoming CAL lessons)
My recommendation to you right is to sit this out (read: feel your feelings) until next week because we have some major planetary movements that will help us to come unstuck. (So yes, in a sense divine timing is def at play here, but only until you complete your reconnection journey. After that, “time” is no longer a factor. Aka, time is equal to how as separated we are from experiencing our self as Source. When all separation is elimated, all time delays are eliminated.)
Right now we are DEF in a pressure cooker…sorry for all the cooking analogies here, I think i might actually just be hungry 😆 …but it’s on purpose. We have to scrape the bottom, the caked-on sediment that is lifetimes old (think: all those lifetimes when we were thwarted from living our full divinity) in order to put our true divine passions into play. (For the record, I am currently in the same boat, albeit at a different level.)
That time is upon us, but we do still have some inner tidying up to do first, so tend to your garden. Put energy into what feels good and let your purpose simmer on the back burner until we get thru this fallow period.
Here’s one thing I know about our true calling: it never goes away.
If, after all these years and everything you’ve been thru, you are STILL desirous of making a go of it…it is divinely ordered.
If you walk thru the fires of initiation, get burned, come out the other side and you STILL want to create your vision in form…it is an intrinsic part of your blueprint. So really ponder that for a bit.
Cuz here’s the thing…making money from our divine purpose is where spirit meets matter. Is this not the same as our entire ascension/descension journey? Trying to merge our humanity with our divinity?
Aka, lots of times we set up our greatest desires as bait…because it’s literally the ONLY thing that will force us to get thru what is required to profit from our passion. You’re not being punished, your being PRIMED…for greatness.
What I hear you saying time and time again…even thru all your frustration/clearing/learning/growing/expanding…is that you are unwilling to let go of your dream, to give up.
That speaks volumes.