As I see it, the most effectual way to realize our true capacity to create our life & relationships according to our deepest, most heartfelt desires is to first LOVE ourselves as we would want to be loved by others.
This is really the basis of it all, that you are the center of your hologram and by that measure you must first BE (radiate) the resonance of that which you want all others to join you in, to reflect back to you. There is no secret code, no magic wand to wave…all of life is in relationship to you.
So to answer your question: Is it ME who is imbalanced – and what am I missing? …the Source of all discontent resides within the self, because there is nothing other than self. And the resolution to discontentment is always (self) LOVE.
The journey of loss is always for one gain…the return to Self LOVE.
When you have found that LOVE within you, you will know because your relationships will reflect that LOVE back to you through admiration, respect, through honoring your authentic soul nature, your spiritual and emotional well being…through mirroring all the beauty that is you instead of any unresolved emotional pain.
Ultimately, I would encourage you to really relinquish all that no longer serves your path of higher good and to LOVE yourself through that very process wholeheartedly…for it is only in licking your wounds, healing your own heart…LOVEing, admiring, respecting, honoring your authentic Self more than any person, place or thing…that you return to your whole balanced state of BEing.
In other words…Want more LOVE? LOVE yourSelf more. Want more respect? Respect yourSelf more. Want more appreciation? Appreciate yourSelf more, etc. No one can ever provide you with what you do not provide yourself. It’s nothing personal, just the physics of our holographic universe.
And this empowered state of BEing is one that will also organically create (by default) the strong energetic boundaries needed to maintain your force-field so that no one ever has the ability to enter your holy kingdom without your vibrational consent. You will find that when you LOVE yourSelf properly, you seal up all your auric holes which prevents any unqualified energies from entering your temple.
Lastly, I encourage you to release any fears/thoughts/feelings that you are somehow “not good enough”…for surely you are better than good, you are God! And therein lies the answer to all your questions.
I hope something I’ve said here eases your strain…