Hi AJ, sorry to hear you are going thru such a challenging time 🙁
Things are definitely getting more physical this year and our bodies are going thru MAJOR reconstructions in order to mutate and handle the creator God frequencies that are amping up and making our spiritual self physical. This means that any and all emotional and/or physical trauma contained in our cellular memory will be triggered for release so that our cells can abide by our true spiritual template and not our age-old karmic blueprint.
The key is in really and truly accepting that the entire process is divinely guided and directed, and that you are safe to let go and let God, so to speak.
Trusting in the process, knowing that you are safe and protected, depending on yourself AS GOD is the name of this game because this eclipse journey is trying to take as many of us as prepared from external to internal dependence…to complete self sustenance knowing that WE are in command of our bodies, not the other way around.
Based on your past trauma, trusting in the physical I imagine is not the easiest area for you to place your faith. However, it is made clear to me that this is the underlying reason for the physical chaos you are experiencing. Your body is trying to express some emotional repression…and your resistance to feel that repressed energy, is creating a storm.
There is a fear of grounding in all of us sensitives because, well the earth has been/can be a scary place for us to be…but keep in mind, that this is exactly why we are all here at this time, that we are literally born for this…to birth our soul-self in form…and that the world is just as ready to receive our truth as we are to birth it.
You are being called to rise up now, to garner the deepest of your inner strength thru this passage for the purpose of releasing all (fear) that is holding you back from your true destiny. Nourishing yourself at this level is really LOVEing yourself thru your fears.
Realize that all suffering is resistance and all resistance is just fear (of feeling) in disguise. My suggestion would be to command your power back from your fears by courageously & consciously leaning into the discomfort and not away from it. This is the only way to move blocked/stuck energy thru you. Feel into your pain fully and it will vanish pretty immediately. Run from it, try to change it without seeing its purpose, and it will only intensify.
The purpose of all pain is to point you to the places in need of LOVE…pain is your truest ally, for it will not relent until you acknowledge it’s message. Pain will not be ignored, and that is the greatest blessing of all.
When I personally feel pain and discomfort trapped in my physical cellf i use a visualization that the Pleiadians gave me to move thru my fears and resistance to feeling…maybe it will help you to:
I visualize myself sitting lotus style and growing roots deep into earth. After my roots are deeply embedded in the soil and rocks beneath me, I see a column of golden light descend upon me and I am told to move that golden glistening energy very rapidly thru all of my chakras…from the crown to the root…and into the earth continuously, and repetitively, until I feel myself relax into trusting and allowing these reconstructive energies to do their thing. It is recommended that I literally feel this golden energy liquefying my pain and dispersing it into earth, releasing all my resistance to feel.
Also, in keeping with the universal/astrological/celestial cycle we are in, realize that this is not a period for creation, but a period for inward self-care. If you are projecting your energies too outward at this time and neglecting the true purpose of this portal…which is renewal…your body will likely rebel to get you to turn inward. We are in a very YIN phase…those at the front of this journey are being called to stay silently and consciously connected to our labor process, as we prepare to birth into the new world.
The pains and contractions of labor will definitely intensify if you resist the body/soul call to stay riveted to Self at this time…its a clear message to center yourself in YOU and to not allow yourself to be distracted at this most potent time of rebirth.
My recommendation at this time would be to pull the reins in, find your peaceful center and divert all distractions until you feel reconnected to your power. If there ever was a moment to be completely still and openly receptive, that moment is right now.
Hope something I’ve said eases your strain…
p.s. re hair loss…my hair has also thinned from all the body chemistry and hormone changes, especially these last few years. Its better now, tho at times clumps would come out while washing my hair and it was a little scary, but I trusted the process and thought of it as part of the “pregnancy” period. That said, the PHC make it clear to me that a nutrient rich diet of animal proteins will help balance out your body to regain equilibrium at this time. I don’t know if you are a vegetarian or not, but animal proteins have been highly instrumental in my own grounding process and greatly support the chemical changes that are inevitable during ascension. We require an OBSCENE amount of protein in order to change over from carbon to crystalline, so this is def something to consider.