Hi Annick, first thing that jumped off the page at me: I should write a book to give you an idea of my situation…
My first thought is if you have that much invested in “how hard your path is”, then please consider that you will continue to create that over and again until you are ready to move beyond it and release your attachment to suffering. I am not suggesting that your journey isn’t riddled with pain, but know that there are others in this community who have experienced the unspeakable and unimaginable to arrive here.
Secondly…and this is why I asked you to clarify what information you are wanting…it feels like a detrimental expenditure of precious life force to be focusing your energy on “the waves” or “your role as a lightworker” or “your past incarnations”, etc. when your body is clearly calling you back to YOU, right here and now.
Nothing is as important as you are, and your state of physical health is sharing that message with you in no uncertain terms.
“Lightwork” is a common externalized distraction for many on a spiritual path, but the truth is your “light” can help no one if it is not turned on. When it is, you will know, because YOU will be the first person you help.
Your guidance was perfect two years ago, but the turning point you seek is in turning inward. When you tap into your own internal Source of light and strength for your answers and healing, you will know exactly where you are on your journey. Each time you look outside of yourself you displace your power and weaken your light.
No one outside of you, including me, has your answers. If you choose to stay on earth in a body, you will have no choice but to reconcile that and reclaim your power for and within yourself.
April 2oth will come and go like any other date lest you claim full responsibility for YOU. In that case, healing can certainly be spontaneous…but again, it all comes down to YOU.
YOU are all that matters.