MemberDecember 7, 2020 at 7:46 am
Thanks for your warm reply.
I do agree with this -‘
I also feel that if these situations conspire to flatten me/us or take us off our feet, then maybe we need to listen? I‘
It’s mentally impossible for me to not be doing something; striving, achieving, feeling inferior to all those who ‘are’ doing more than me. I ask for grace and ease but then my ego gets in the way with its control-freak ways.
I have to ask myself, ‘when will it be enough?’
This is my story too. The no longer workable propensity to power up using this dysfunctional fuel.
I can see it clearly in myself but seem incapable as yet to make sufficient in roads to a different OS. I watch myself time and time again judge myself or set myself very high bars that I think my body has finally slit the dummy at. Hence the debilitating symptoms.
Whilst i am in so much resonance with the film on life force good:eating/cleansing etc ( I’ve always seen food as medicine) I’m also nibbled by the persistent thought that my own dualistic perception/overlay of food is also my nemisis, and the thing that has tripped me up constantly on my journey to health and body homeostasis.
I’ve always been a relatively clean eater but as I moved into adulthood and was privy to the plethora of versions of ‘ good’ food/habits I think I was predisposed to falling victim to my own above mentioned mind based perfectionism rather than being open to listening and trusting in my body and it’s calls.
I can feel that I’m still navigating this narrow isthmus of staying true to my inherent nature of knowing that plant based eating is essentially life force support/aligned frequency stuff and getting stuck in the swamp of feeling wrong about my body’s call for I know also, at least in theory that what we feel about what we eat is as important as what we physically ingest.
Again, snap on your comment about realising that this last two years has seen me uncommonly not be as ‘ healthy’ as I usually am which has been really odd, scary and frustrating. It’s like I had no will or desire to stay with my so called life long programming. 😳 There’s been a loss of control and a weird apathy that’s felt like it’s had it’s way with me without true consent.
It’s good to hear that you’ve seamlessly lost weight. It’s given me hope as my ascension journey was definitely modeled in the proverbial
‘ fat suit’ and I’m so over carrying this ‘ weight/wait.’
Thanks again for initiating this thread. It’s feeling like it’s super important for me to find my way thru this ( last) piece of the puzzle differently. 😱💕🦇
Much love x